NaNoWriMo has Officially Began...

and all I can think of right now is how much I want to sleep and dream of a better life than this one. Have you ever had one of those days when you just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel for all the dark clouds looming waiting to hit you in the butt with a stray bolt of lightening??? My head is so stopped up with sinus drainage , my eyes are watering more than the Niagara Falls, and my husband is trying to force a new dog into my home. I lost my dog 3 months ago today as a matter of fact, to kidney failure. And although I feel for this dog, it needs a good home, I can't help but think of how much I miss Reese, my chihuahua. Besides the owner wants $200 for him and we just don't have that to throw away on a dog right now. I know I should be concentrating on writing my novel for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), I have the drive, just no story is jumping out at me. I know, I know, the purpose of this experiment each November is just to get you writing, but without having some kind of direct path in mind how do you begin?? I failed to meet this challenge last year and I don't like to fail....at anything. I long to see my name on books lining the shelves of every bookstore chain in the world and yet I can't pick up a pen and put it to paper to achieve that goal. Shameful, I know. To be so selfish, to want something for myself, but I do....I want it. Something that could be just my accomplishment. Maybe someday I can do just for me and feel okay about it. Until then I serve my family. My husband, son, daughter, dogs, cats, mother, father, anyone who needs my help, I'm there. But one day, maybe......